If you haven’t started at Chapter 1 of the adventure, I recommend that you check it out–if nothing else to get to know me a little bit and figure out where we’re at on the journey to start our family. Now that your caught up, let’s continue on.
Hangover or Period?
On this one faithful morning, I woke up with my back hurting as usual, but with an underlying crappiness that only comes on mornings where I’ve indulged in much too many glasses of wine the night before–but today was different: I had not had alcohol for a few days. I wasn’t nervous for anything (which always gives me a stomach party), since I had a session as usual and had everything ready, and I didn’t have to leave the house to get my winter tires switched over (so glad I found that service!), and I wasn’t worried about work, money, or anything! It was actually one of the most stress-free times of my life. Then it hit me. My period is supposed to start in a couple days–thaaaat’s why my stomach hurts. Ugh, this again. So I drank some club soda with a few fresh ginger pieces thrown in there (beware: don’t do it in a can or full glass–ginger makes a carbonation volcano!), and performed my newborn session as per usual. Only it wasn’t. The entire day I was just so uncomfortable–like, the entire time. And yet I wanted to scarf down a ton of McDonalds hashbrowns <– and I have never liked those in my entire life! Oh well, I poached myself some eggs, fried myself some onions and spinach, and felt much better for the rest of the day. I even went out for a run, and picked up some goodies for diner.
The next morning was unfortunately no different: that hungover feeling, the urge to just eat all the things (I had been living carb & sugar-free for the better part of almost 2 years prior), the crappiness. My husband was heading out for the day, while I was getting ready for our Mother’s Day gathering for his mum, and as he waived goodbye and stepped onto the bus–I felt my heart skip a beat–it finally dawned on me that my period might NOT be arriving tomorrow… I sprang up the stairs, and frantically looked through my cupboard to see if I had any tests left from the last time. Alas, I stumbled upon one of those cheap ones from the dollar store, the ones that make you pee into a mini-troft and have to eye-dropper it onto the test strip (1-step process my ass!), AND that only detects a ton of the HCG hormone–so here went nothing. I did my thing, set a timer, and played Fight List to keep my mind off of it (it actually worked!). And there it was. A faint, but albeit real, pink line on the test side of the strip. Could it be? Yes it could! It is!
So after breakfast I was feeling much better, and went out to get one of the good tests, that would clear up whether it was a false test, or my imagination, or whatever. Then all of the ideas were running through my mind on how to tell my husband, and whether I should save it for when he gets home, or whether I should do some cutesy surprise like I had always wanted… And why hadn’t I planned it out before, since this wasn’t exactly a surprise! Or do I just text him NOW so that we both know. That didn’t seem fair–to either of us–we’ve always been the “big news face-to-face” kind of people, so I decided to wait.
The Waiting Continues
That felt like the longest 6 hours I have ever had to endure, despite the running around to get stuff ready for the party. Once he got home, he was clearly in planning mode, so I let him get the rest of the meals and house ready for our guests. Gosh I felt like I was about to explode with joy at any second–the nausea and crappiness were long gone, I was overjoyed and I just wanted to scream it out to him. Finally there was a lull, where we had a few minutes to relax by ourselves before guests started arriving, and while I did my best to make it cute, it was just another intimate moment for us (which if you know us at all–you know that it was hella-cute or super weird depending on how you look at it), which made it special in its own way.
Our Little Secret
Now that our guests were starting to arrive, we had a little secret to keep to ourselves. At least until we are certain, and that everything was okay. So through dinner, through all of the seemingly-knowing toasts (“to all current and future moms” –> they knew it was in our long-term plan, but had no clue what they were truly toasting!), and the laughable comments through our board games–we simply smiled at each other and enjoyed ourselves.
Once we had given our last goodbye, we went to dig out the test, and I peed on a stick for my husband–so romantic! As mundane as it sounds, it was actually quite exciting to snuggle up with my husband, waiting for the timer to go off, and for that ‘stick’ to tell us our future. I have never seen him so excited in all our years together–and this is the big kid who dances with excitement at the smallest of things.
It’s Official!
There they were. The two pink lines that we’ve been waiting for. I have never been so excited and scared shitless at the same time. I was just feeling all the things. Like, OMG! I am growing a tiny human! Holy shit! Can I even do this!? OMG! This is so exciting; we are going to be parents! And with that last one, as if the future was flashing before me, I knew that my husband was going to be the greatest father, and that if he could do it–so could I. His excitement was certainly reassuring, and I am very excited for this next part of our adventure together.
More Waiting
The waiting isn’t over yet though. Now I’ve got to go to the doctor, and figure out what the hell I am supposed to do now that we’ve got a baby on the way. I mean, there are some things that are obvious, like the whole ‘no more wine‘ thing, but the unknown others. Despite the research, there is so much to learn!
And let’s not forget that now we get to tell our parents! And then our besties! And then the rest of our close friends and family. But for now, we patiently wait for this little miracle to grow, and I can certainly handle that part of waiting 😉